Asymptotic

a quest

Light, oppressive through your eyelids as you
come back to your
senses, your frozen limbs that that lack the will to
breach the walls,
these empty walls.

Outside, the rain falls fresh,
unreachable.
Outside, she waits for
repetitions of endless days.

Unable to recognise
the path you have left behind

and uncover the tracks
of what was once here,
you peer through the glass
failing to see.

A featureless place to lie
still as the hours pass you by.
You are waiting, standing
above it, afraid to look down…

and uncover the tracks
of what was once in,
you peer through the cracks
failing to see.

Face it,
open your eyes and see
it’s all the same again
inside this

whiteness, now,
blinding, now,
numbness, now,
silence.

A featureless place to lie
still as the hours pass you by.
Striving for a chance to
become what you’ve lost and
hold on, hold on tight
descending from these heights to
wake up, now,
larger, now,
break free.

a congregation

Come in as a stranger, stay at a
distance to observe and learn their traits.
Restructuring patterns, accommodate to
fill the gaps and take your place.

Then when they look away you put on another face,
a fleeting glimpse of your presence disconnecting, dissociating.

Feel it run through your hands, a thread of lies.
Try now to meet their eyes, affect a smile
and make them forget.

Ceaseless masquerading, in hiding you’ve got
one for many, one for none,
coalescing, shapeless, a multitude of
eyes turning inwards to gaze upon the core.

Recoil
as they see through you.

A fleeting glimpse of your presence disconnecting, dissociating.

Feel it run through your hands, a thread of lies.
Try now to meet their eyes, affect a smile
and make them forget.

Sever these connections to face
further revelation.

a deception

Immaterial, I dwell in darkness,
just an echo of these past selves without you.
A shimmer on the surface is all I have to give
when I open, presenting, for you to fill, this

empty vase,
a room of mirrors to make you feel safe.
All around you, now,
the walls are closing in.
By your hands
you bring me forth into existence.
As you vanish, I become
before your draining eyes.

Pervading,
I occupy.

Empty vase,
a room of mirrors to make you feel safe.
All around you, now,
the walls are closing in.
By your hands
you bring me forth into existence.
As you vanish, I become
before your draining eyes.

a delusion

Come, stare at a world that was created
just for you,
this soil, precious, fertile, these hands to
guide you through.
So many ways to follow this, so many ways to
thrive,
anticipating to discover no limits within your
mind.

Go, walk away
with eyes open wide
towards the sunshine
to find your way.

See what you believe to make you unique
reflecting back at you
from faces around, the same to be found,
now barren, broken through.

Go, walk away
with eyes open wide
towards the sunshine
to find your way.

Devoid of the thrill, experience defeat
and triumph, painless, mild.
Struck by the bitter realisation of
commitment slipping by.

Inconsequential, aimlessly, you wallow in
stagnant waters of promises unfulfilled.
And, you see…

A lack of agency to stop the flow, to quit
this apathetic march you sabotage to care.
Well, you know,
your answer is not there.

All you covet remains indifferent
to your vapid demise, this petty self.
Weary, you scratch the walls and try again.
Too late, it always has been just too late
to become someone else.

a chasm

Revisit the places we were,
trying not to forget.
Acknowledge it doesn’t make sense
to bring back the
days from before.
Acknowledge the loss.

The silence that we shared,
now just lost words in others.
Reaching out, diverge,
we pass through one another.

Reconnecting incongruous paths
with nothing to say,
a futile recollection of moments
when we were the same.

Find the language to tell the
story we left to rot.
In blindness of proximity we were
unwilling to grow.

Among the many faces I look through,
you rise up to present this new old you,
confronting me, expecting more,
unaware that it’s no one’s fault:
we got here together.

Among the many faces I look through,
you rise up to present this new old you,
confronting me, expecting more,
unaware that it’s no one’s fault:
we got here together.

How come we got here…

Together we embraced inaction,
setting up a barrier of static, a wraith.
Wake me now, engage, elicit a reaction,
then again repeat the same till I don’t care.

a beacon

With every step,
as less than one we fade,
and I learn you whole
as I offer you all
I am today.

But, when I’m looking straight in your eyes,
I start to realise
how much reflects outside, how distant
I must seem to you.

You see, if I strip myself away,
a little detachment is okay.
Imagine that there is a way through
and I’ll be there with you.

So let me be bare and frail, let me fail,
leave all these layers behind myself
and fall together
in place.

You see, if I strip myself away,
a little detachment is okay.
Imagine that there is a way through
and I’ll be the one to follow.
So, when the doors are open,
remember to leave a trace
to find you.

In you I conceal myself when I’m
weak and scared I’ll disappoint you.
Disoriented, feigning strength as I
stand before you, desperate, broken
when I’m left here to go,
in absence, through it all,
the rituals we perform.

Take this moment, a lifetime
to build and keep this
fragile balance, to cherish
this routine. I pledge to
be your shelter again,
another day.
Please, stay.

a return

A thinning rope, this fabric torn
through fingers that miss the ground.
Flailing, I strain to heed
the nebulous calls of melting
faces, falling apart,
stretching, reaching from afar.

Yearning for visions now forgotten,
failing to collect
the pieces that are left,
and retrace the steps now
fading.

Navigate this fragility
to recall a faint
memory of tranquility,
interrupted.

Wishing for tomorrow to reveal…

Thrust into the future of this past,
its broken roots and forsaken lands,
to face, again, equilibrium, self,
dislocating.

Wishing for tomorrow to reveal
what lies beyond
this fragmented shore.
A new horizon
to behold.

Drifting away
this time as before,
aching to regain
this time I let go.

And I’m still here,
wishing for tomorrow to reveal

somewhere to belong,
something to cling to
for just a minute.

Wait here
for all these years to bring the tides to
clear, and sweep away the fear.
Probing the sands, in darkness I hunt for a
sense of direction. Scrambling, off-balance,
I’m wandering.

a soliloquy

Stay away,
watch it all unfold
from behind the veil.
And watch them play,
watch them love and laugh,
a wistful touch,
this one you crave.

See their faces cast a slower light,
a distorted scene.

And as you start to wane,
hovering,
just listen to the sounds
they cannot hear,
taking hold of you,
wiping out the view,
erasing.

From within, a doorway to step through, unnoticed,
to slowly recede

and disappear into the other side,
to leave untouched.